It’s hard for me to admit when I’m wrong. Yes, I remember complaining recently about how aggravating that same trait is in my husband…the difference is he is wrong a lot.  I mistakenly berated daytime television.  I lumped it into three categories and dismissed it.  I was, well…you know.  There is a program that comes on at 2:00 p.m. called The Doctors.  OMG!!!! Most of the doctors aren’t worth my time, but there is one Dr. Travis Stork (whom I’ve mentioned before if you were paying attention) and he is fiiiiiiiiine!!!!  Girl he can do my yearly daily, and twice on weekends!!! 

Well one of the topics the other day was what to do when your vajayjay goes gray.  The lady in the audience wanted to know if you could “dye the rug to match the drapes.”  Say what?  Now I am not new here, but I always thought the “rug” was some guys toupee.  Don’t ever dye your cootch to match your guys hair, and if he’s bald anyway wouldn’t it be better just to shave it?  In fact, my vote is for shaving it anyway.  However, that is a decision not to be taken lightly.  Once you commit to it  you kind of have to continue.  The itch is unbearable!  Whatever happened to: “buy an extra batch for a snatch to match?”   I digress… the lady was told that there is a new product on the market, “Betty dye”.  You can have a blonde Betty, a brunette Betty, a black Betty, and a fun Betty (which contains colors like blue and green).  Since when did the name Betty become the name of the southern realm of femininity? Now I’ve called this area so many things the poor dear is probably quite confused.  Mine would probably answer to just about anything, but even I have never actually given the old girl a girl’s name.  Now boobs…they need names.  Especially when you are young and they are right there with you. They fill out your prom dresses, they get your husband’s attention (he’ll lie and say it was your eyes but we know better), they nurse your babies, and in your golden years they keep you from falling off the bed by gently falling side to side to embrace you.  These beings deserve names.  But your Betty?

Now, yummy Dr. Stork played the game and discussed the “Betty”products…the fun Betty comes with stencils just in case color alone doesn’t do it for you….and mentioned that even though these products were named “Betty” men could use them as well.  Okay, this is where the imagination kicks in, Travis Stork, M.D. standing naked in the bathroom applying a heart stencil to “little travis and his play area” and gently shaving around that area.  “Ohhh Dr. did you cut yourself……..fade to black.”

There was a bunch of other stuff on this airing as well…wipe front to back…wear flip flops in public showers…plastic surgeons can get rid of those flabby things under our arms….you know the usual bullshit.  My point being that there is decent daytime television if you look hard enough.  Did I mention that ever since I had this last surgery I’ve had to use this estrogen cream that I suspect is making me hornier than a sailor on leave?  So who knows…watch The Doctors. If after watching, you need a hot man, cold shower, and a cigarette then it’s not just me.  Now if you’ll excuse me I need to set my DVR.