You lucky bitches.  Your Christmas is probably over.  You’ve probably survived the  last minute trips to the grocers and the travels to grandma’s and grandpa’s house.  You may even be looking forward to going back to work tomorrow, so that you can rest.  Well, not so for la diva loca.  Around here things are just gearing up.  My daughter flew in to town tonight, but I haven’t seen hide nor hair of the head I so diligently pushed from my womb without medication so many years ago.  My middle child will be in tomorrow (sometime, don’t wait), and the children who live nearby I don’t expect to see before Saturday at the earliest.  We fetched my husband’s godmother from up north today and his brother and sister are already here.  The remaining in-laws arrive Friday night.  The children aren’t nestled all snug in their beds and visions of Gold Patron Margarita’s are dancing in my head.  When what but a dumb ass, bible belt,  hick state law would appear?  Said you can’t get your drink on in Arkansas on Christmas.  (I know it doesn’t rhyme.  It probably would have if I could have had that margarita.) Archaic? Yes!! Antiquated? Certainly? Drunk?  Not yet…but to quote my dear friend Scarlett “tomorrow is another day.”

At a time of year when more people deal with family than any other, why would any reasonable lawmaker deny them hooch?  I have 3 sisters, 3 brothers-in-law, 1sister (who’s not a vaj sister but is more than an in-law), 8 nieces and nephews, 10 great nieces and nephews, the aforementioned godmother, my mother, my father in-law and his wife that are all part of the group that we subtitle family.  Don’t deny me booze.  These people don’t seem to understand…to turn me loose sober after having dealt with Christmas arrangements for my children and our Christmas (which doesn’t happen for another 4 days) is like turning an Iraqi loose in a shoe store and letting “W” man the register.  Shit will be flying.

I am not an alcoholic.  I rarely drink actually.  I’m what’s referred to as a social drinker.  I need to drink in order to be social.  Actually, there a few people out there who become calmer when alcohol infused.  I unfortunately am not one of them.  When my oldest sister was dating her future ex-husband, whom I didn’t like and didn’t pretend to, I made the mistake of having a little too much cheap sangria.  I promptly went up to my future ex-brother-in-law and told him that I used to think he was a belligerant a*#hole, but now I didn’t  think he was at all belligerant.  I can’t imagine why, with the love and support of family like that, those two kids couldn’t have made it work.

We are forced to endure a zillion commercials and billboards and songs that tell us Christmas is love, and Christmas is family, and the true meaning of Christmas is not what is under the tree, but what is in our hearts.  Well, tomorrow while I am baking and pouring love into the freshly baked cookies, and cupcakes and lovingly preparing our Christmas buffet for our family I will be happy.  Because I am one day closer to being with the ones I love?  Yeah right…cause the liquor store will be open, and I’m heading there first!

 

1 Comment »

1. 

   Sister from another mother,

   Thanks so much for the great time at Christmas - good food, great games and the best hostess ever wearing a cast to the armpit. But the epitome was watching Ultra Fighting sitting between Jason and Jenna - doesn’t get any more Christmassssy than that.

   Love you,
   PMS

   Comment by PMS — December 30, 2008 @ 11:30 am

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