It is bitch ass cold.  Of course it is winter, and I know that winter is cold.  Even though we live in what is considered a moderate climate it is currently five degrees outside.  What is moderate about that?  I suppose compared to the blizzard that is hitting the mid-west five degrees is moderate, but really when you are talking single digits…does it matter?

I woke up this morning and as soon as I moved every joint in my body screamed in agony.  I chose not to listen and got out of bed anyway.  I pushed my silenced toes into my Ugg slippers and wrapped my sad little self in my fleece robe.  Padding down the hallway I made it to the kitchen, after crawling down the stairs like a little old lady twice my years, and made a huge pot of coffee.  Two cups later I felt something similar to human.  A cup after that I was less morose and felt like I could face climbing the stairs again for a hot shower.  Our bedroom is a refrigerator.  Getting naked up there is like joining the polar bears club.  Apparently the genius who designed our house reasoned that the proper place to put the upstairs thermostat would be the upstairs hallway.  I don’t know if they didn’t know that heat rises, or if they thought that we would leave our bedroom door open all night long…but it does and we don’t so it’s cold up there.  It doesn’t help that our bedroom is directly over the garage.  The end result is that our bedroom is usually about fifty-five degrees or less.  Not good for naked.  I went upstairs to shower, and all my toasty goodness vanished like a snowman in a heat wave.  Of course the shower was nice and hot, but getting out was unpleasant.  Shaking and shivering, I lotioned, deodorized, and dressed…quickly.  I dried my hair and put on my face looking forward to the warm downstairs and another pot of coffee.  It was not to be.

I had no more than reached the bottom of the stairs when the powers that be (my spouse) announced that he was ready for lunch.  All my little joints gave a unanimous shriek of protest.  I had planned on fixing something in house (see dieting).  Oh well, if I had to get out there were a few errands that I needed to run.  So I layered clothing from toes to teeth and off we went.  The air was so cold my sinuses hurt.  My fingers ached inside my gloves and my butt was numb.  I looked over at my husband in his lightweight jacket, no gloves, no hat, lightweight khakis, and big dumb grin on his face.  “Cold, huh?’ is his super intelligent comment.  “Duh” is mine.  He had lunch, I had coffee.  We took his car to the shop.  We went to the grocers…I hate grocery shopping with him but that is a whole nother blog…and we went to Walgreens, and in a scant 3 1/2 hours we were home.  I don’t think I have ever been so cold in my life.

Once again after a pot of coffee, a bout under the electric blankie, a bowl of chili (no chili dogs), and an extra pair of socks I’m beginning to thaw out.  My joints are so swollen from the cold they actually look a little disfigured.  The ones you can see are slightly reddened and hot feeling to the touch.  I’ve taken all of the pain meds I can take for the day and we aren’t supposed to see any improvement in the temperatures for awhile.  This just sucks.  Sometimes I just think we should move to Arizona.  My husband thinks California, but I have asthma too so I really have only a few places in Cali that meet all my requirements.  We need a place that has mild temps (pretty much 70’s year round), low humidity, low to no allergens, no air pollution, and (considering his addiction) lots of golf courses.  Any ideas?  We thought about Hawaii, but it seemed kind of expensive to ship all of our furniture and cars over there.  It seemed even more expensive to start from scratch.  Oh yeah, I also refused to leave my grandson, and we have to take care of my mom and his godmother.  This move ain’t happening.

After May two of my kids are going to be living in California.  My daughter recently reminded me that my grandson won’t always be my only grandchild.  She informed me that at some point it is possible that the majority of my grandchildren will live in California.  If that happens I will deal with it.  This one will only be cute for a few more years.  Once he starts school he will be a little smart ass like they all are.  It will be easier to leave then.  I think it will all work out.  I’m not too worried about the future.  I’m just trying to survive the here and now.  It’s cold…and I hurt.

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