Someone sent me an email last week that basically encouraged adults to be more childlike.  The excercise took one through a maze of substitutions that once successfully accomplished would give you a new name.  Allow me to introduce myself…I am Sloopy Chickentush.  I am not an original Chickentush. I was born a Dippinfannie, but in 1995 I married into the Chickentush family and I have been firmly perched here ever since.

My husband’s family is not exceptionally large.  His father Snickle Chickentush married Tootsie Chickentush when they were quite young and they had Funky.  Later in life they had a little miracle that I call husband, and the rest of the world calls “Doombah”.  About that same time, Funky married his college sweetheart Dinky.  They had a son and named his Dorfus.  Many years later when Doombah reached maturity he also married his college sweetheart and I became a Chickentush.  My oldest son loved the Chickentush line so much that once my husband and I married he had his name legally changed to Chickentush and now he is known as Snooty Chickentush.  My two other children kept the name of their sperm donor and are known chronologically as Crusty and Sloopy Chickenburger (yes, my daughter is named after me.)  When my son married my non-vag daughter she of course became Dorky Chickentush.  When Crusty marries the lovely young woman he is dating, I assume she will drop her maiden name of Humpdunkin and become Dorphus Chickenburger.  I’m only guessing.  She’s an actress, so it’s anyone’s guess. My daughter is dating a young man by the name of Sleezy Dippingizzard.  I think they may be serious, but I’m always the last to know. He has a little boy named Farcus…thank God…the last thing we need in this family is another Dorfus or Doombah!  As you know, the light of my life is young master Snickle Chickentush.  It wasn’t until I went through this renaming that I realized that he was named after his paternal great-grandfather.  However; his middle name is Sloopy so he is also named after me a little as well.  He looks a little like Doombah though and that has a lot of people scratching their heads.  Snooty doesn’t like to talk about it at all, but Dorky just laughs it off.

I haven’t spoken much about my side of the family.  It’s not that I’m ashamed.  In 1946, Dinky Dippinfannie took the hand of Boobie Battyhump in marriage.  They had five daughters.  Dorfus, Dinky, Tootsie, Doombah, and Sloopy.  While Tootsie died as an infant, the other four girls survived and are still going strong.  Dorfus married and became Mrs. Dorfus Pottydoodle.  She has two daughters and six grandchildren.  Dinky is now Dinky Gizzardlips and she and Mr. Gizzardlips had three children and three grandchildren.  Doombah married a Dippindoodle and had a boy and a girl and just last April her daughter blessed her with a little girl named Boobie Rhinonose.  She’s just precious!  Of course you can just read all about me in the previous paragraph.

In the past I have been somewhat reluctant to mention names in the body of my blogs.  I know it can be embarassing for my family members when I out them.  However; if any members of the Chickentushes, Dippinfannies, Pottydoodles, Gizzardlips, Dippindoodles, Dippinfannies, Chickendunkins, Chickenburgers, Dippingizzards, or Humpindunkins are upset by the use of their proper names I place all the blame squarely on the shoulders of my friend Sloopy Gizzardbrains.  She is the one who sent me the original email explaining the procedure for renaming yourself.  Sloopy…it’s all your fault!