I had a day!  As my dear, very Southern, friend down the street would say “girl…hold on.  I’m about to unleash some learnin’ on ya.”  My day started out pretty evenly paced, started rolling down hill, hit a pot hole, then ended on a fairly good note.  Imagine my best Bette Davis and “Buckle up.  It’s going to be a bumpy ride.”

I was going to treat myself to a massage today.  Yea!!  It was my little birthday present to myself. (In case you are sending me something and think you missed it, you still have a couple of days.)  I spent the morning looking forward to it.  Abby…my massage therapist…is absolutely the best.  She is a great friend in addition to being a massage therapist and an hour and a half with her is absolutely a little like heaven.  Plus, having a massage is a good excuse not to put on make-up or do your hair.  I jumped in my little convertible, Patsy Cline blasting on the speakers, and roll out of the garage when I notice that the temperature sensor says that it is sixty-four degrees outside.  Shut the F*** Up!  I immediately take the top down!  It is glorious!  I have a seven minute drive to an appointment that is in fifteen minutes.  I should have known someone would F*** it up.  At the first major intersection while waiting for the light to change some jackass decides the thing to do is let some other jackass in a monster truck pull out in front of him on a green light.  Bad enough, right?  Oh, no way!  The jack ass in the monster truck wants to pull across two lanes of traffic (straight across) and block three lanes of traffic…including mine…while doing so.  No one in the two lanes to the right of us was going to let him through and it was two more green lights before he was able to cross the lanes.  I am honking like a maniac at the fool who let him in in the first place.  He sticks his head out of his stupid window and yells, “what did you want me to do, lady?”  What a stupid question.  I obviously didn’t want him to let this fool out and I told him so, and just in case he couldn’t hear me over all the other horns I used some sign language.  Needless to say I was late.  It didn’t matter to Abby, but it just ruined my happy mood.  How dare he?

I didn’t have to deal with such rude behavior on my way home, but upon returning I found that the heating and cooling company had called and they had the part to fix my heater.  Finally.  (Did I mention that it was sixty-four degrees?)  I told them to come on and fix it.  I was planning to be home for the rest of the evening.  They said it might be awhile they had another job to finish first and they would call before they came.  Peachy.  I went upstairs to check my email.  Such a wrong move.  I had an email from a friend (very loosely interpreted) who preceded to ream me out for several things.  This chick was my best friend from third grade through high school.  We lost touch for awhile and reconnected at our thirty year class reunion.  Well, I had been sending emails, and she had emailed back some.  We met once for coffee, and we both had shown up at a basketball game in support of a team that a mutual friend coaches and it was while we were at this game that I noticed she seemed sort of out of sorts.  When we got home I emailed her and asked her what was wrong.   Man, did I get a response!  She laid into me like a hungry dog would a T-bone steak.  She was busy.  She had a job,  Her husband and her family were her top priority.  I was a snob.  I spend all day on the computer.  She likes to work out and stay healthy (that one hurt…I mean I would if I could).  I am competing for the attention of our mutual friend…WTF?  At first I was so hurt I had to step back and do a little reality check.  You know the, am I ______? kind.  I filled in the blank with everything she had accused me of in her email, and it’s true I don’t have a job.  I don’t work out and I’m not very healthy.  I spend a lot of time on the computer, but usually it is with a purpose, and generally speaking I don’t have to compete with anyone for attention (okay that sounded a little snooty, but not snobby).  I don’t think anyone in my family would ever say I don’t put my husband and my family first.  They are my job, and the reason I don’t have time to work outside the home.  I have several diseases I fight on a daily basis that keep me from working out…she didn’t know this because I try not to bore people with the day to day crap that is my life.  When she looked at me she saw an overweight woman who wasn’t working out.  She never thought to ask if there was a reason.  It seems to me that maybe she is more of a snob than I.  That’s the final straw.  Me.  A snob.  Holy shit!  I really don’t believe anyone who knows me would ever use that word to describe me.  They might use a lot of words with negative connotations and I might have to acknowledge ownership of them, but not that one.  I’m about as down to earth as the earth itself.  I have been kicked around by life and still bear the scars.  I am the daughter of two simple people who have never put on airs.  I try to be kind to everyone I meet.  I’m not going to tell you that I don’t talk about them once their back is turned.  I’m human after all, but I would never say it to anyone who would let it get back to them, and if I think it needs to be said to them…I have no problem saying it to their face.

I got up from the computer with my little hurt feelings and dried the few little tears that  had the nerve to fall down my face and I got mad.  I was mad as hell and I just wasn’t going to take it any more…more or less.  I decided the problem was hers…and how dare she.  From a few hour of conversation and a half dozen emails she judges me and deems me unworthy…I deem her unworthy.  Psycho!  My life was fine before she came into it and will be fine without her.  I saved the email though…just in case I ever think I’m getting to big for my britches, I’ll take it out and read it again.  I’ll probably get mad again, but sometimes a little mad does a lot of good.  My hubby doesn’t mind as long as it isn’t aimed at him. 

So now I think I’m going to go and circle the bath tub with candles and fill it with some kind of soothing bath salts and hope that the low light and soft scent melt away the day and help me to remember that deep down where I keep my secrets, I am a good person.  I need to keep that in mind, because the heating guy couldn’t find any gas in the gas line and he said they would be back in the morning.  While I hope that means ten a.m.  I know it’s going to be more like eight, and I really don’t do eight a.m.  I barely do eight p.m.  Boy, do I need to soak!