Last week the family had hair appointments.  This isn’t news and I’m sure you’re wondering why it is that I feel compelled to write about it.  There is a reason: my husband is stupid.  Most people think he is intelligent and as far as I can tell it is my job to debunk that impression.  He is not.  I have proof.

Our hairdresser has moved to a new salon.  This happens frequently so that wasn’t the problem.  The problem was the name of the place she moved to.  The Spa @ Esthetique is her new place of business. Remember that, you will need to know it later.  Okay…here’s the story.  Originally our hair appointments were for Thursday, but on Monday our stylist called us to say that she was moving to a new salon that would be open for business on Friday.  I reminded her that we had appointments on Thursday and she said all we needed to so was come in on Friday instead.  Easy peasey.  I told the hubby.  Dorcas has moved to a new salon and we have appointments on Friday.  What’s the name of it?  The Spa @ Esthetique.  “What”  “The Salon at Esthetique.”  “S the what?”  “Esthetique.”  The week went on without mention of the salon or the appointments.  On Friday afternoon hubby got up and showered and asked what time the appointments were and announced that he was leaving first so that he could hit the golf course.  Fine, no problem.  “What was the name of the place again?” “The Salon @ Esthetique” he repeats it for good measure…”The Salon @ Esthetique.”  “Exactly.”  “Where’s it located?”  ”In Tontitown next to the Harp’s.”  “Right or Left?”  “Honey, I don’t know but I’m sure there is only one The Salon @ Esthetique in the shopping center so pull into Harp’s shopping center and look for it.”  “What’s it called again?”  “The Salon @ Esthetique.”  Again, he repeats it…”The Salon @ Esthetique.”  And he’s off.  About ten minutes later I left the house and go by my mom’s house to pick her up and then I drive the fifteen minutes to the salon.  My husband’s car is no where to be seen.  The first thing I notice is that it is not The Salon @ Esthetique but The Spa @ Esthetique which was what I had written on the calendar and what I had originally said, but over the course of time and the many, many questions it had become the salon.  I know where this is heading.  I see our stylist and I ask her if my hubby has already come and gone.  No…he hasn’t been there yet.  Crap.  We wait about five minutes and here comes Captain Smarts…fuming.  He takes a look at me and starts in…”you said salon, and it’s spa!”  “Really?  That’s what confused you?  You couldn’t guess because it had the word Esthetique in it and it was the only place in the whole shopping area that said it does hair?  You are really going to put the blame on me?”  “Hell, yes  I’m putting the blame on you.  You are the one who told me the wrong name.”  “Yes, I agree that I told you the wrong name for the most part, but the word Esthetique never varied.  You are stupid and that is not my fault.”  “I don’t know that word so I didn’t listen to it.”  “Not knowing that word is what makes you stupid.”   This went on until I noticed that we were kind of being overheard by people in the spalon…which is how I will forever refer to it from now on…at which point I told him he was dismissed. 

Now I don’t know technically who was right and who was wrong.  I know I gave him the wrong name (partially), but I still believe the average moron could have figured it out.  I recognize that he feels equally strongly that if I had given him the correct name he wouldn’t have had to drive all over Tontitown looking for a salon (but really…when I specifically said in the Harp’s shopping center? And it was directly to the right of Harp’s for God’s sake).  I wonder how old all these people will have to be before I get to stop spoon feeding them.  I’ve got feeder’s elbow for Pete’s sake.  At least in the case of my husband I should have known that it would be this way.  If he ever gets lost it is someone else’s fault.  On the few occasions we have gotten lost while driving he blames the GPS unit (I tend to think he didn’t follow the directions correctly) and ends up yelling at the thing, turning it off, then doing what it said to do in the first place.  At that point, however; it is his idea, not the GPS so he gets all the glory.  He thinks he’s complicated…I think he’s funny.  Most of the time. 

Anyway…we’ve got six more weeks before another haircut.  I think he can find it again…I think.  If he can’t, I need him to find someone else to blame, maybe my mom.  I just know that I am only willing to take the fall for that one once (if at all).  He’s going to have to pony up for anymore mistakes…plus I’m getting my haircut first…neener, neener!