Last night my oldest son called and asked if we would like to go with them to take The Precious to his first real baseball game.  This is something he enjoys watching on television and we thought we would see how attending a live game went.  The weather was beautiful.  The seats were great.  The teams were pretty close…4 to 5 at the top of the eighth, but the mascot was a sasquatch!

The Precious was not pleased to see a towering sasquatch loping onto the field.  His aunt was holding him, and apparently he began shaking.  As the sasquatch came closer his fear became greater.  His initial excitement at the sight of the field and the players went flying out the window.  “Bye-bye” was widely heard, along with “no-no” and “be nice”.  In the end nothing would do but that mommy hold him.  His large blue eyes continually scanned the park, and the crowd for any sign of the huge mascot.  His experience had definitely taken a wrong turn.  At one point he forgot long enough to cheer, “good hit!” as a player slammed a triple out to center field.  He watched in awe as foul balls popped in the air just over his head.  If he could’ve just gotten rid of the damn Big Foot his life would have been perfect.

We were lucky enough to have chosen to go to the ballfield on Duggar night.  If anyone watches TLC’s 18 kids and Counting…that family was at the Ballpark too.  It was thirsty Thursday and all drafts were $1.  My oldest son figured that was really the reason they came.  Unfortunately for every other child in the ballpark, the Duggar children were allowed to play every game and activity during the spaces between innings that the ballpark allowed.  It’s annoying to some of us (me) that these people don’t let their children watch t.v., but they raise them on money they make from a television program.  They brag how Michelle home schools the kids, but when they were given jumbled letters and asked to spell skeleton the oldest and his wife spelled skeltone.  Good job!  The announcer got so sick of trying to remember all of the damned J names he finally just said, “and another J is out of the game.”  They work so hard at being good Christians, why don’t they bow out and let someone’s kid who bought a ticket play the give away games.  Oh I know, it makes for good television when they are doing exciting things.  Pleeease!!!  The only reason that they should be given any kind of attention at all is just for putting Arkansas in a bad light.  Now we are nationally known as the Duggar state.  How nice.  I’m sure everyone is thinking that all Arkansans just want to see how many children the Lord can give them.  Hey Duggars…it’s not the Lord giving you babies…it’s the sex!  The Lord also created people with brilliant minds who have developed condoms, spermicides, birth control pills and tons of other great devices so you don’t have whore your family out on televison and irritate the locals every time you do anything in town.  Geez-a-lou!  They put the whole family on the pitcher’s mound to throw out the first ball and they had more player’s on the field than the Natural’s. 

Obviously The Precious is too young to care about the fact that he got screwed out of winning any  loot because it was Duggar Day.  My daughter however, mentioned that at the very least they could treat the rest of the kids to dollar beer for having to show up on the day when they couldn’t possibly win anything and they had to keep watching the emcee pull Duggars with J names out onto the field so that TLC could film their preciousness (if you heard a noise, it was me gagging).  I know I had a Margarita and I don’t generally drink when I am out in the sunshine.  I did however catch a baseball for The Precious and of course we bought him a T-shirt.  The problem with the T-shirt is it has the stupid Sasquatch on it and I don’t know if he will wear it or not.  If he does and he looks down, he may have a cow!  For the moment, at least, he thinks he won.  He has a new soft baseball that bears the Natural’s Logo and he is content with that.  Still if you know someone who could take on a seven foot tall sasquatch…you could be a little boy’s hero!