This is going to be fun…for me, not for my sister.  Today is her birthday and she is old.  I don’t mean like she is familiar with dinosaurs old, but she is really close.  I told her grandson once when he was small that she was older than dirt.  I told him that she went to school with Jesus.  A little later we were doing something else and she walked into the room and he said “Grandma, I know who you went to school with.”  Of course she bit…”who?”  “Jesus!” he stated proudly.  Those are the moments I live for as a great-aunt.  I am always there to teach the little darlings all I can and then some.

My darling oldest sister was twelve when I was born.  She married at seventeen and I honestly don’t have a lot of memories of her being at home.  She made me an aunt at the ripe old age of six.  Mother says she was largely responsible for spoiling me as an infant.  I think this is all heresy because I can’t imagine a spoiled child turning into such a well adjusted adult.  As adults we became friends, and though I tease, I tease out of love.  I tease her about…well just about everything…and since her mind is going (due to her advanced age), she rarely teases back.  In fact she’ll probably read this and then forget that I even wrote it.  She’s a good looking old gal.  She must be, since a lot of people think we look alike.  She still has all her own teeth.  That goes a long way towards impressing the men  at the senior center (at least I should think it would) and if she ever get the chance to retire, she just might find out what a rare gem she is.  Her oldest daughter is a hair dresser so she is adept at keeping the gray at bay.  She doesn’t hear real well, but I find  personally as I get older hearing seems to be somewhat over rated.  She has two daughters and about fifty grand kids. Her oldest grandson turned seventeen last month, so she could be a great-grandma nine months from any weekend.   Her grand kids range in ages from 17 to 2.  That’s not her fault, unless you consider that she should have had the sex talk with her soon to be 43 year old daughter who has the two year old.  Yes, I know…it’s crazy, but here’s the kicker, the 43 year old also has the 17 year old.  Insanity runs in our family.  Anyway, back to my sister.  She was a beautiful baby, blond curls, blue eyes, big dimples.  She still has blond curls (thanks to the aforementioned daughter) and the blue eyes, but now the dimples are on her thighs.  I know.  She swims in my pool.  Dimples run in the family too.   She is a paralegal but you would never know it to look at her.  She never uses a wheel chair.  I am so impressed by her abilities to get around on her own.  It’s probably because she took so many college courses on how to be a good paralegal.  I think it should be mandatory.  If more of them took classes maybe there would be less need for handicapped parking spaces. 

She’s a hard worker.  No one could ever accuse her of being lazy.  She works a forty hour plus week at her job and then puts in another 30 hours or so with mom.  They watch the wheel together, and probably talk about the rest of us.  I would imagine they discuss what Vanna is wearing and maybe even solve a few puzzles.  On Mondays they watch Dancing With the Stars and on Tuesday they watch The Results Show.  Sometimes I join them, but not often.  I have my own evening job to do.  On the weekends, sis often goes to Harrison to babysit the grand kids or sometimes they come stay with her.  Occasionally, she goes to Little Rock to watch her oldest grandson play ball.  I don’t think she has missed too many ball games and seriously she does have six grand kids that live anywhere from 1 1/2 to 4 1/2 hours away from her.  The Precious only lives about 10 minutes from me and if he plays ball I seriously hope his parents show up.   See I don’t intend to be as good a daughter or grandparent as my sister.  I don’t want people to expect me to behave as admirably as she does.  It’s nice when people have no expectations of you.  Everyone has always known that my sis is the nice one.  I’m the one that when I speak people say “Oh no, you never know what will come out of her mouth.”  I like that about me.  Hell no, I love it!  We have known since the beginning what was expected of us.  The oldest was the nice one, the next was the one that was crazy, the third was the one with the attitude, and I was the one with the mouth.  It’s nice when you don’t have to work to exceed people’s expectations.  None of us has changed much.  My oldest sister is still the nice one, but considering what the other three of us are like it wasn’t much of a contest.

She is the first of the three of the vag sister’s to have a birthday this month, plus the non-vag sister has a birthday this month as well.  Oh yes, I will be writing about all of them.  It will be the truth as I see it.  And the truth, as I see it is … for an ancient relic, my sis does okay.  She has put up with, and is still putting up with, a lot of unnecessary crap.  She will continue to put up with it because that is her way.  She is a nurturer.  She will take care of those she cares for and put herself aside.  She will read this and see the truth in the parts where the truth lies.  The places where I have taken liberties will make her smile, because she knows me and she knows that I only harass the people I love.  Happy 70th birthday sis!  I love you a lot. 

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