I know I have been a little lazy with my blogging lately, but I had to drive to Branson today and that allowed me plenty of time to think.  I can pretty much solve the world’s problems when I am left to think on my own.  I pondered world peace and the stupidity of republicans…then I went for a truly serious subject…slow traffic.

If I could make a law regarding other drivers on the road, I would insist that everyone use cruise control.  I think speeds should be maintained within a five mile plus or minus.  I always set my cruise.  I primarily do it because I have a lead foot.  I tend to speed, especially in my car.  I set the cruise between five and nine miles over the limit and try not to brake unless I absolutely have to.  However; when you travel down highway 412 in the summer you have to allow for hay trucks and old folks.  Hay trucks can’t go fast, and old people won’t…and God help you if you get an old person driving a hay truck.  You’d better have picnic supplies because you aren’t going anywhere.

I got behind a Ford Taurus that couldn’t make up his mind about his speed.  He drove fast down hill and near passing lanes and slowed down considerably when going up hill and in no passing zones.  The Taurus passed me more times than I care to think about while I was going down hill and then I was stuck behind them on the uphill climb.  As soon as a passing lane was open, I would pass again and the cycle would repeat.  I was traveling at a steady 60ish miles per hour.  I would say that the speed of the Taurus was between 45 and 70. 

I have a niece (well, actually I have several) who can’t stand to be behind anyone else on the road.  My sister says that her problem is she can’t stand not being the lead dog.  I think a lot of people have those issues.  I can’t stand to be behind a semi.  My car is little and I can’t see around them, but for the most part I just stay back and let the semi stay in front.  I pretend that I am caught in some kind of wake and tell myself that I am making a significant savings on my gas mileage.  Whether or not this is true I have no way of knowing.  It really doesn’t matter much.  I can convince myself of anything when I put my mind to it.  I am currently in the process of convincing myself that I still look like I’m in my thirties and my weight is just fine.  It’s a work in progress.

When I finally got off of the two lane roads and hit the interstate things got a little better.  At this point my  mind veered away from cruise control and onto why people slow down when they see a police cruiser parked on the shoulder of the road.  Unless you can see for miles ahead of you, you are pretty much busted by the time you see the car.  The other thing is if the cop has a car stopped by the roadside…he’s busy.  He won’t be paying attention to your speeding ass.  I’m not advocating ripping by at mach 10.  He might decide you are bigger fish than the one he has caught if you attempt that.  But if you are cool and just keep on going you’ll be fine.  It also helps if you can cry on command.  I have gotten out of a lot tickets using the tears.

Any way….on the drive home my hubby was with me and there is no sitting still and just thinking when you are in the car with Boppy.  You will be regaled with golf stories.  You will be asked a thousand times what’s up or what’s wrong.  I just keep a crossword book in the car and keep him busy by doing crosswords.  That is usually good for trips under two hours.  More than that and all bets are off.  So here’s Sloopy’s laws of the road:

1. Always use cruise control on road trips

2. Always keep something in the car to entertain the children

3. Maintain your composure if you see a cop

4.  If you can’t manage rules 1 - 3 stay the hell away from me

That’s all.  I have vented and I feel better.  I hope you can see where I’m coming from and if you can’t…to hell with you.  I am allowed to geel however I want to feel.  Deal.

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