I have been having visual difficulties.  My right eye has been foggy for days now, but I know that one of my meds causes blurred vision.  I walk around most days looking like Popeye.  I have used eye drops and creams and was told by my doctor today that I needed to purchase some moisturizing eye drops, because people with my conditions tend to have dry eyes.  Mind you, I don’t think the problem is dry eyes.  It’s not like my eyes feel like sandpaper or that I am over watering.  I’m just seeing through cellophane.  Normally it’s not horrific.  I just close my bad eye and look through the better one (I want say good eye, because it has its issues too.)

Well today seemed to be a different story.  This morning when I got out of the shower Boppy was still in bed.  I was trying to be very considerate and not wake him up.  The only thing I was missing to complete my grooming routine was my body lotion.  Well, I keep a large basket of samples in the bathroom and I had just recently perused the sample center at Walgreen’s so I figured there was some lotion in there.  Sure enough, after a little digging I found a sample of Nivea’s citrus scented lotion.  I rubbed it on one arm.  It felt sticky, but I rubbed it in as best as I could.  It was very thick and it kind of sparkled on my skin.  The stickiness didn’t go away.  I figured it was one of Nivea’s new skin tightening formulas so I went on and put it on my other arm.  I had the same experience, but still thinking that it was just a new product line I started to apply it to my leg.  After having the same problem with right leg I decided to look and see if this was the new skin tightening formula.  Well it wasn’t the new skin tightening formula.  It was body wash.  I had rubbed body wash into my damp skin.  Great!!  I got a wash cloth and filled the sink with water.  I then proceeded to re-bathe myself.  After completing that task I found a tube plainly marked “Lotion”.

You know I don’t have to tell these stories on myself.  I could just as easily have gone on with my life and never let anyone know that I sometimes, accidentally, bathe myself twice in the same morning.  However, I see it as a public service to inform you that aging isn’t always pretty.  You see, back in the day I was a paraoptometric.  (go ahead, I’ll wait while you look it up)….Okay, I was told a joke in school that said a paraoptometric was just an optometrist who could count above 10.  If you get it, good for you.  Most people don’t realize that their optometrist doesn’t count above 10.  Which is better, 1 or 2, 3 or 4, and so on but never above 10.

Well, the thing I told everyone nearing or at the 40 year old mark was “when you near forty, your vision starts to go.”  Well, I have made it well past that milestone so it is no surprise that my vision is…impaired.  I know this.  It is hard to accept it, but I know it.  I also have to give up my contacts, because dry eyes and contacts don’t mix.  So I will wear my glasses…when I have too.  Just in case, however; I will keep some reading glasses in the bathroom.  That way I can be sure not to use my denture cream as toothpaste.