So the hubby and I just watched He’s Just Not That Into You and I am so amazed we ever found each other.  I can’t believe Hollywood is so jaded.  If you watched this movie and took it verbatim you would have to believe that happiness, and finding the right person rarely happen.

I have often commented that I am glad to be out of the dating scene.  I never was one of those people who jumped from person to person.  I am a very loyal person and when I am with someone, I am with them 100%.  I had the same boyfriend throughout high school…I found out after the fact that he was a real jerk and I would have been better off without him…but I only dated him.  When it came to my first marriage, let’s just say I was not in a position to make a clear headed decision.  I was 19 and had a child.  I fully believed that no one would ever take the two of us on with all the baggage I was bringing into the relationship.  When he proposed (if you can honestly call it a proposal) I said yes.  I stuck it out a lot longer than I should have and eventually wised up and moved out.  Third time was charmed.  I met my hubby in college.  He saw me through my divorce and was my sounding board throughout the whole process.  He became my best friend, and then he became my boyfriend and now after 14 years of marriage he still makes me smile, sometimes he even makes me laugh out loud.  He is great with my kids and always has been.  He is 100% trustworthy and I never worry about our relationship coming to an end.  I am pretty certain that will occur when I die.  We just lucked into one another.  Neither of us was looking for the person we were going to spend the rest of our lives with, it just happened.  So why do so many movies portray men as cheating bastards and marriage as hell on earth?

After watching He’s Just Not That Into You I wanted to kill myself.  It was so depressing watching these actors portraying people who were either in relationships where neither of them was being fulfilled, or single and desperately searching for Mr. Right, or married to a cheating husband.  If I had been single I might have been led to believe that there was no hope of ever meeting a nice guy.  If I had been married to anyone other than my husband, I might have been led to believe that every man was a cheater.  Trust me when I say that there are men in this world who will marry you, put your needs before his, and never even consider the possibility of cheating.

Obviously I didn’t particularly enjoy the film.  I get riled up when I hear people say that all men cheat or at least want to.  I really hate it when someone says that it is in their nature to spread their seed.  That is just ridiculous.  This is the lie that cheaters tell so that they have an out for their outrageous behavior.  There is no out for cheaters, unless wimpy women with no self esteem allow them to get away with it with the ridiculous decision to “forgive and forget.”  You will never forget.  You may forgive, but every phone call will raise your suspicions.  Every trip out alone will make you wonder if he is really going where he said.   Without trust there is no marriage.  Trust is the very tapestry of a marriage, and while the examples I am giving are of men, the same holds true for women. 

I know that a story about a strong marriage is not good cinema.  No one would put a camera in the living room of a man and woman who have been happily married for years and still respect and love each other.  The basic premise of a marriage is that you don’t make any decision without thinking of how this will effect your spouse.  If it is going to hurt them in any way then it should be avoided.  Easy peasy.  My husband is always on my mind.  If I am grocery shopping I am thinking of what he would like to eat.  If I am doing laundry I always do his clothes first so that he will be taken care of.  These things are not conscious decisions that I make, they are simply things I do because I love him.

Life is to short to be in a relationship with someone you don’t love.  Cheating is unacceptable.  End one relationship before you begin another.  It is not rocket science.  It is simply the right thing to do.  Okay, I’ll step off my soap box now.  Just make sure that when you are in a relationship, you are not the only one putting your significant other first.  It is, and always has been, give and take.  Just make sure you receive as much as you give, and whatever you do don’t give it away to someone else.

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