There’s another smell going on, and I am (once again) the only one who can smell it.  Quite frankly, it smells like ass.  If you are the one responsible for the cooking let me describe it like this…if you have ever fixed chicken for dinner and put the absorbent layer from the packaging in the trash without rinsing it and a week later you want to gag when you open the trash…that’s the smell.

I told Boppy something was dead beside our house.  He went outside and came back claiming that my sniffer was out of whack.  “Nothing back there.  Don’t know what you thought you smelled…must have been from next door…” blah, blah, blah.  I walked out the door and smelled it immediately.  I went to the side of the house and the neighbor was doing laundry.  You could smell the vent from the dryer and it was definitely not ass.  I have a convertible.  I have driven near enough decomposing carcasses of animals who had attempted to see why the chicken couldn’t cross the road, to know decay.  This is decay.  I tried to explain this to Boppy.  “Maybe it is rotting grass.”  I don’t think he gets it.  I also know the smell of rotting grass.  Before we had a pool in the backyard, we had a swamp.  It stunk, but not like this.

I wish my super power was something other than having the nose of a bloodhound on crack, but it is what it is.  I have smelled plenty of things no one else has until it got to the point that it would gag a maggot, so why don’t they believe me when I say something stinks?  I was lying in the pool yesterday with my hat over my nose so I could at least block out some of the malodorous essence, but to no avail.   I gave up and came in.  When you can’t enjoy your back yard for the stink, it is time to do something.  But here’s the problem: the grass around the storage building is relatively tall and I fear there may be snakes back there.  In addition, I fully believe there may be a family of skunks living under the storage building and I have an aversion to being sprayed (as does Boppy…which is why I believe he can’t smell the stink).  Yep, we have a family of skunks on the property.  We have seen a mommy and a baby in the yard at night, and one of the babies fell into our pool and drowned.  I think they may have been feeding under the storage building and something they have been feeding on is stinking to high heaven.  I googled skunks and apparently they will eat anything.   Perhaps the creature died and now they are just completing the circle of life…I don’t know.  I just know that for the last two nights in addition to the pleasant aroma of rotting carcass we have had the aroma of pissed off skunk.  They really like to search for bugs in our flower beds, and every time we walk inside or out, they respond in a skunk like fashion.  So far none of us have been sprayed, but our house reeks!  Last night the smell was so bad I got a headache. 

My daughter can smell the skunks.  No one gets the rot.  I think it is because I have this huge schnoze.  Boppy and my daughter have tiny little non-existent noses.  Perhaps a bigger nose means a better smeller.  I don’t know.  I know that bigger ears don’t mean you can hear better, because Boppy has the most teensy tiny ears and he can hear a flea fart.  However, I have no proof that my larger probiscus is the reason for my blessing of smell.  I just know that when something stinks I always get to smell it first, and therefore for far longer. 

Obviously there is no solution to the rot problem.  That is something that I would have to take care of because I am the only one who can smell it.  (Perhaps that is why I am the only one who can smell it)  I can however take care of the skunks.  I am going out today and spread flour around the shed and then I can see whether or not small white foot prints come out from under there.  If that is where they are nesting I am calling animal control tomorrow for a relocation intervention.  If that’s not it I am getting some commercial skunk repellent and placing a barrier around the house.  I am going commando on skunks!  I shouldn’t have to deal with more than one stink at a time.