My daughter and I were talking the other day about men we have secret crushes on.  We found out that we both kinda dig dirty guys.  Not stinky dirty, just dirty.  We love Mike Rowe on Dirty Jobs.  We both dig Johnny Depp, and the guy who mows our yard.  I don’t know about Mike Rowe, but Johnny Depp and the yard dude are both out of reach.

It defies explanation.  There is a ruggedness to a strong man covered in the debris of his work place.  You never know what Mike Rowe will be covered in, but the yard dude is covered in green stains and loose soil.  He smells like freshly turned earth.  He is not what I would call traditionally good looking, but there is something there.  Mike Rowe even kind of looks like the yard dude.  Part of it is the stubble thing, but the stubble needs to be dark.  Blonde or ginger stubble just makes a man look lazy.  I don’t know why…plus it’s an opinion.  Johnny Depp is just hot!  I don’t see how  anyone can argue that point.  He is probably the handsomest of the three and definitely the most handsome man of his age in the country.  But he has to quit smoking.  I really can’t stand the smoking, and something tells me that he smokes after sex.  I would like to be able to tell you definitively that he does indeed smoke after sex or that he doesn’t (preferring doesn’t), but I will never know.   It seems he has a strong attachment to the mother of his children. 

Some women like men who look like they just jumped off the pages of GQ.  Some like men who come in scrubs (you know doctor garb), but I think that may have more to do with the scrubs than the guys in them. But until my daughter confessed that she likes dirty men too I didn’t have a clue that I wasn’t the only one.  I have always kept this a secret.  There are several reasons for this.  One is that my husband would never be considered a “dirty” man.  He does sport scruff, but it’s ginger scruff.  He is nowhere near my age, but I love him to the moon and back.  See the things is…I don’t want to make  him feel bad because I find traits he doesn’t have extremely sexy in other men.  It doesn’t mean that the traits he possesses are any less attractive to me.  I don’t know why I feel guilty because when he sees a hot chick he doesn’t waste anytime letting me know.  He has actually been known to say to me “look at the rack on her.”  Obviously he finds giant jugs attractive and doesn’t worry about hurting my feelings so why can’t I just say “honey, did you know that I find men who look like they’ve been out sweating all day really sexy?”  Trust me, it would not turn out well.  As for my daughter, she still could land a scruff.  She has been seeing a man who oversees construction.  Not quite the carpenter himself, but still he might smell like sawdust.

I know there must be many  of us out there.  We scruff lovers need to start a club.  Those of you who actually have scruffies at home are not invited.  It’s only fun because it’s off limits.  It’s like eating a 2lb. cheesecake.  You know you could never do it, but a part of you wants to try anyway.  So you go as far as you can without throwing up.  Yes, I felt you with me right up to the throwing up…but you get the picture (some of you more vividly than others) it’s forbidden.  It’s that forbidden fruit thing, and look where that landed us.  It’s because some bitch gave in to the forbidden that we all bleed until our fifties, cramp to high heaven, bloat for a week every twenty-eight days, and scream like banshees during childbirth.  I don’t need to point out the obvious…stay away from that which is forbidden.

Now, if you’ll excuse me I intend to waddle into the kitchen see what is left of that cheesecake and take fork in hand, eat until I puke then go to bed.  Eating ain’t cheating!

No Comments »

No comments yet.

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL

Leave a comment

You must be logged in to post a comment.