I am back in Kansas City.  I am with my husband this time, not my mother.  We arrived yesterday.  The snow began today.  It is still snowing.  The weather is bitch-ass cold.  Which (if you know weather) is the coldest of all the weathers.  My daughter thinks ass off, added to any thing greatly improves the quality.  For instance…she sleeps her ass off.  She also works her ass off, shops her ass off, gripes her ass off, eats her ass off (which gives me pause for concern because when I eat I tend to eat my ass on), and laughs her ass off.  What can I say?  For her, it works.  If I must use her terminology I am freezing my ass off.

Temperature wise Kansas City is no where near the same ball park as say the Bahamas. My non-vag daughter asked why if we were going away for a week we weren’t going to some where warmer.  I reminded her that we come here to check on a family member and that if they ever moved to warmer climes we would be happy to visit here there too.  For all of you relatives reading this, if you would like to see more of us move to warmer climates.  It would also help if you had a guest house separate from the main house and a loaner car.  Private planes will be considered (based on their size) and long term visits can be arranged.  I think this could also be the reason that all of our family lives in places just as effing cold as northwest Arkansas.  It won’t be warmer any time soon either. 

While I was speaking with my non-vag daughter today she informed me that she is in trouble with The Precious.  Apparently he is resenting the fact that she wakes him up, takes away his blankie, and is just mean in general in the morning.   For the last two days he has greeted her after work appearance with, “I don’t wike you!”  She said that he told his daddy the reasons aforementioned.  Today, however; he was taking her hand and leading her towards the garage.  Apparently he felt that if he at least showed her where her car was she would leave and he would be safe.  I tried to tell her that in his two year old mind all of the things she had done were vile.  Even I resent people who wake me.  And just try and take my effing blankie.  You’ll unleash 5′3″ of total whoop ass.  I thought she was getting off easy.  I mean basically she was just getting a slap on the hand.  I truly feel she appreciated the support.  I also told her that all three of my kids had at some point in their lives told me that they hated me.  I told her that The Precious was very advanced because none of my kids ever said it at two.

It’s nice to know I can help her in little ways like these.  I am also there to laugh when they do something stupid.  I laugh alot.  Not just at the two with the two year old.  I laugh at all of them.   Mostly because legally I can no longer be held responsible for their actions.  It sure is good to get them past that 18 year old mark.  I tried to tell my non-vag daughter that she should write down all of the things he says.  Eventually you forget or you forget who said what, but I don’t know if she took my advice.  My guess would be not.  The one and only thing all of my kids (vag and non) have in common is the fact that they don’t listen to me.  That is another reason I get to laugh more often than most.

Well, Boppy and I may or may not get out tomorrow.  We are nestled, cozy in our hotel room.  We have our Jenny Craig food.  We have fruit and beverages.  We will survive.  The snow is supposed to stop at some point either tonight or early tomorrow morning.   The temperatures will range between 0 and 4 tomorrow.   We have plenty of warm clothes with us and good heavy coats.  We are glad that we have someone near who owns a washer and dryer just in case we have to stay longer than we planned.  It’s all good.  Remember though…if you are planning a move south is the proper direction.