My Dad loved life.  In my late twenties we became friends.  Dad had gone through some major life changes and I was in a better place than I had been.  We reached a place where we could sit and talk as equals.  I could discuss anything with Dad.  We talked pro football, college basketball, politics or his favorite subject…the weather.  The point here is that we talked.  Dad had two things that were pretty consistent: he called all of his daughters sis (kept the confusion to a minimum), and he told us “it’ll all work out.”

This was Dad’s life philosophy.  When I came to him to talk about my marriage being on rocky ground he told me it would all work out.  When my ex was making my life miserable I got the same phrase.  No matter what the situation was I was told “it’ll all work out.”  At the time I found it irritating.  I was looking for advice.  I wanted to hear sage wisdom not foo foo platitudes.  I wanted him to tell me that he would talk to him, or that he would help me in some way, but I never got that.  I got, “it’ll all work out.”  At the time it didn’t seem like it was any help at all, and I wondered why when we could talk about anything if I needed help this was all I got.  But you know, looking back, he was always right.  It all did work out.  Not always the way that I hoped or the way that I had planned but it did work out.  Whether the solution was for the better or for the worse it still worked itself out…probably in the way it was intended to. 

I’m going through some things now that I’m not happy with.  The other day I was seriously wishing I could talk to Dad about it.  After thinking about it for awhile I knew what he would say.  He would listen to everything I said and  after seeming to think about it he would tell me that it would all work out.  Only now I know that he’s right.  Whether it works out the way that I wish it would or not remains to be seen, but it will work out.  But here’s the clincher…I get it.  All of those times that he told me those tiny little words of wisdom I thought he was full of crap.  Now I am trying to live my life with the gentle ease of my father.  It will all work out.  There are usually only two options to this…it will work out for the best, or it will work out for the worse…but it will work out.  I get it.  Now I try to just go with the flow and hope that it works out for the best.  I know that if my kids come to me for advice I will use these words.  The difference between my dad and me is that I don’t always stop there.  That is why I have raised children who come to me for help instead of standing on their own two feet.  I know they are reading this, so I have to admit that a. they don’t always come to me for help and b. as they get older it gets better.  I think I should be able to fix things.  My dad thought I should be able to solve my own problems.  I think in some ways he just had more faith in me or in a greater power.  Him telling me that it would all work out probably forced me to find my own solutions or be willing to accept the outcome.

So it’s Father’s Day.  I can feel his presence smiling at the fact that I got it.  Dad had a great smile.  His life wasn’t easy, but he loved it.  He loved growing up on a farm with a ton of brothers and sisters.  He loved my Mom and he loved his daughters.  He loved God.  He loved life.  The best way we can honor Dad is to love life like he did…to smile like he did…to keep going on without him, not because we want to because we have to.  He didn’t waste a minute worrying about what would happen next.  He knew it would all work out!  Happy Father’s Day!

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