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Maybe It’s Best to Leave This Untitled…
22nd August 2010
***This blog is very graphic. If you are squeamish, put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
Menopause sucks. Of course I finished it in like two minutes, but prior to that I had four solid years of fighting the symptoms. Recently my doctor prescribed Miss Puss a tiny little pill to take every other night. It made all the difference in the world. Miss Puss is like a whole new person. She has that old spring in her step that she used to have. She isn’t throwing me into flashes of heat. (See what I did there my little ones.) She’s alive in the boudoir. She’s back to her old self. I’m so happy for her. This is the one prescription that has me doing my happy dance all the way to the pharmacy.
Last Friday I tripped the light fantastic into my favorite pharmacy. I had ordered my prescription for our upcoming trip and went to pick them up. One of my prescriptions was for vagifem. As my pharmacist was ringing me up, he pulled me aside and said that he had a problem with one of my prescriptions. Wouldn’t you know it would be with Miss Puss’s. “This prescription has been discontinued. I have five left in my dispensary and I’m giving them to you, but that’s it.” It was 6:00 o’clock. My doctor was closed. I am leaving on Monday…and I can feel Miss Puss’s claws finding their way back into my conscience. Now on the one hand, I don’t want to be taking any medication that might have horrific side effects. On the other hand, I really like feeling normal and keeping Miss Puss happy.
I ask Pharmacist if a prescription is on the market that works the same way and has the same effects. “Nope. I don’t know why they have discontinued it, but it’s the only thing of it’s kind on the market. I will call your gynecologist on Monday and see what she says.” Well, that’s just great since I’m leaving on Monday and even if I could get a new script it would be impossible to get a recurring prescription filled at another pharmacy. Well, I took a deep breath and said “Well, this is going to be a great vacation for the next ten days. Then I’m gonna be bitchy and Boppy is gonna be cranky.” “I’ll see if I can call her after hours number.” (Sometimes letting Miss Puss do the talking works). In a few minutes he comes back. He looks sort of sheepish, but not completely defeated. “I got ahold of her, and she said that this had only been discontinued in the dosage you have been receiving. She prescribed a lower dose that you will take more often.” “Great so now I’m going to be stuffing MIss Puss full of pills on a daily basis? What’s wrong with this picture? Can’t you call your other pharmacies and see if they have it in the dosage I receive? You have 6 other pharmacies…get on the phone!” (Sometimes letting Miss Puss talk is just embarrassing.) Now Pharmacist (whom I count on for my well being) looks more than a tad embarrassed. “I can’t do that. I really shouldn’t even be gi ving you the five I have, but they’re not going to do me any good.” “Get her on the phone for me.” He rushed to get that phone…anything to get me off his butt. The phone rings twice. “Hello.” “Dr. P this is Emmy. I’m going on vacation for 19 nights and Miss Puss is out of medicine…and Pharmacist won’t give me more than five. I don’t think this is the best time to be changing meds.” Insert a very brief pause…and then…”Meet me at the office in twenty minutes. We have samples.” You see she has talked to Miss Puss before…she is Miss Puss’s doctor, not mine.
I now hold in my hand twenty-three vagifem pill inserts in my possession. Our vacation will be fabulous. What comes after that is anyone’s guess. At least for the next 46 days Miss Puss and I will be as one. If she goes Sybil after that I am not to blame.
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